Remember when …

When I slapped two pieces of bread, meat and mayo and made us sandwiches? We also had hot lays so we added that in it as well. Best sandwiches ever. You laughed at me. I can’t remember if it was because I looked silly or something else. Priceless moment of many I created with you.

So often we are caught up in “life” that we forget to be present and really enjoy everything we have. I would give anything to relive this moment with you and many others. Would I do things different if I knew I would end up here ? No because meeting you was a blessing.

There’s just something about dancing in the open that warms my ❤️ up. Don’t you feel the same way?

Note to self and to everyone else: don’t forget to live in your moments and really make them yours because you never know when it will be the last one.

This I want you to know..

I watched another Filipino movie.

I thought of you again.

It’s okay to miss you from afar.

It is okay to love you from afar.

It is okay to worry about you from afar.

It is okay…

Mahal kita…

Mahal na mahal kita…

I told you my feelings were hanging on a rope. I was falling… Then one day you told me to open the glove compartment..I opened it and found a pair of scissors. It will always be a mystery as to why it was there. Were they intentionally put there just to show me your response or were they there already and it was just a fairy tale… A mystery that only you have the answer to.

Missing you…

I miss you.

I miss The way you laugh at my jokes.

I miss the way you kiss my forehead.

I miss the way you make fun of it.

I miss the good mornings.

I miss the way I felt when I was with you.

I could go on but I won’t.

I miss everything about you… did you know that?

Now you do.

I announced it, now I have to really do it…

Excuses, excuses and more excuses. They were not excuses, they were reasons. I chose not to do that because I had so much going on in my life that I could not take on another task. My emotions were like a roller coaster ride. People on the outside would look in and would not understand unless they knew what was happening behind the closed door.

But when you are in a good enough space where you can do something good for yourself, go for it. Take small steps. Little accomplishments will lead you in a new direction. If you want to go back to school, go back! If you want to live a healthier life style, start today! If you want to love again, love yourself first…

It’s never too late to do something good for yourself. For me I will be looking into going back to school. I want to further my education. I want to fill myself with more. I loved pharmacy tech but I just lost my passion for it along the way. I love the people part but the job itself is just not enough for me. Its okay to want more in life. I always tell people to never settle for less then what they think they deserve. But remember, nothing great comes to those who don’t work hard for it. I will be working hard on my relationship with myself and leaving the rest to God.

I’ve been speaking a lot about him because he was there when I was alone. He was the one that answered my prayers. He was the one that blessed me with such love and warmth. He is the reason why I have hope and faith today. Never have I in my entire life ever felt this way about him.

This is simply me, Ka.


My shiny knight
Not only did God save me and surrounded me with support, he brought her into my life. I can’t express how thankful to have met you Ms. You are truly an angel from above. I pray that he will give you everything your heart desires because you are my savior. I will repay you one day for the kindness you have given me when I had no one. I will do it with more than just sending flowers to your office. I love you and pray that we will see each other again in the future.



Gym with my ex-husband’s girlfriend and her best friend’s husband!

No it’s not weird one bit.

Yes it was awesome!

Yes we will be going to gym tomorrow again!

We smashed it hard and laughed harder.

Trust in god, he has a funny way of working things out.

“Can’t Help Falling In Love”

Photo by Antonio Gabola on Unsplash

Netflix has come such a long way and now they have even more movies / TV shows for example they just added, ” Can’t help falling in love” a Filipino Movie.

I saw this movie on YouTube with someone I hold close to my heart. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. We were looking for a Movie with English subtitle because I is Hmong and he is Filipino. I have never seen a Filipino movie until him.

They are HILARIOUS! The way the characters are in the movie are just like how his family are when I’m with them.  I know its a duh thing but It’s new to me.

I remember being mad at him because he verbalizes his reactions too much in my opinion. Every funny scene he would like so hard that it feels like he’s laughing for me as well. I felt like I could not laugh because he was doing it for me. He was so loud! I kept thinking to myself, “Dude stop laugh so much and so loud so I can laugh too.”

That was a good movie. I enjoyed it very much with him. We also watched a couple of other Filipino Movies as well.  So when I saw that Netflix added that movie onto their selection, it brought me back to that moment.

I realize that you can’t relive a moment twice so when your in your moments really take it all in and be fully there. No running thoughts, no stress, no worries, no ifs and or buts. Just be there because it won’t happen exactly the same again.

and yes, I couldn’t help but fall in love…




In the end…

@ Korean Friendship Bell

I told myself that I would not write about you.

I told myself that I would grieve silently.

I told myself this and that.

I listened to my love ones over and over again telling me the same thing.

But in the end, I still miss you.

In the end, I’m not with you.

In the end, I still love you.

And I pray that God will answer your prayers like how he answered mine.

I pray that the steps I take today will bring me closer to us.




 Someone once told me its okay to blog about the sad stuff too…
[I will cherish the sweet memories we made and learn from the bitter ones. Life is not always full of sunshine and smiles. Life at times are filled with tears, heart breaks, the feeling of hopelessness in other words it feels like shit. I allow myself to grieve. I will stand and run again. I will allow this to empower me. 03062019]