In the end…

@ Korean Friendship Bell

I told myself that I would not write about you.

I told myself that I would grieve silently.

I told myself this and that.

I listened to my love ones over and over again telling me the same thing.

But in the end, I still miss you.

In the end, I’m not with you.

In the end, I still love you.

And I pray that God will answer your prayers like how he answered mine.

I pray that the steps I take today will bring me closer to us.




 Someone once told me its okay to blog about the sad stuff too…
[I will cherish the sweet memories we made and learn from the bitter ones. Life is not always full of sunshine and smiles. Life at times are filled with tears, heart breaks, the feeling of hopelessness in other words it feels like shit. I allow myself to grieve. I will stand and run again. I will allow this to empower me. 03062019]

To my younger almost baby sister,

I witnessed my younger sister get married. I can’t stress about how proud I am of her and how happy I am for her to have found her lifelong partner. Growing up she was never the type of girl to go chasing guys. She was smarter than that. I’m not saying girls that go chasing guys are dumb, I’m just saying she made smarter choices which is why she is so happy today. She was focused on school. She was focused on her career and her wellbeing. She never cared about  makeup, dressing up doing her hair. It’s only on rare occasions that you would catch her in a dress with her hair curled or straight. She knew precisely who she was and where she wants to go in life and nothing stopped her. When she first started dating I was shocked to be honest because she never showed interest in a guy. Did I mention her ears are NOT pieced. The only jewelry she wears now is her wedding ring. Her eye brows are natural with attempts of being plucked by me but she just let it grow. Does she use a face moisturizer? I don’t think so. My point is that I would never imagine this day would come so soon. She’s my sister and only 22 and of course no guy out there is worth her soul in my eyes.

As she and her fiancée stood before the minster, her glowing in her white dress with her hair curled and hanging loosely because she just got home from work and I did her hair and dressed her up, tossed some makeup on her and drove to the court house. I felt something inside. Happiness and excitement for them. As they said their vows to each other, the words echoed through my body and into my heart. I have never seen her so happy and so in love. I have never seen anyone love her and look at her the way he did. She was blushing and glowing with happiness. I could see the girl in her gleaming out as she said I do to him.

As time goes by we slowly forget what we feel at that very moment. So please don’t be like other people, don’t be like me. Remember what that day meant and what you felt at that every moment.

Life has a funny way of reminding us and teaching us how beautiful relationships and people could mean.

This is a reminder for those who forgot. Don’t lose sight of the special bond you both agreed to on 01252019. It’s a contract you signed, sealed with a ring and a kiss.



Dear FearlessKay,

Life is okay here. Yes, just okay.

I know where life is better but I have too many excuses that holds me back.

Don’t be like me, stuck.

If you ask for my excuses, I can give you many.

But I know where life is better.

Here is just okay.

I can’t believe 2019 is here already! So much as happened in the past week that I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. What’s the bright side of all this?

2019 is unwritten as every year is so if you are down don’t stay down too long. If the year didn’t start how you want it to then dwell on it for too long. I know that I’m not where I want to be like many of you out there but it’s okay because I am aware of that and that gives me power to change it so can you too. I’m just okay, okay isn’t bad. I’ve been slacking on my self lately but it’s time again to get back up and push myself to be stronger. I am here for you and I know you are here for me too. I pray often now because I know it helps. So if you feel like no one is listening, I am. I will be praying for you as well.

But I’m still trying.

I really don’t feel like blogging. I really don’t feel like going to the gym but I’m pushing myself to go.

Why? Because I have a membership and I don’t want it to go to waste. Even if it’s tiny workout it’s okay because I know it will take time to see progress. I know it takes time to build a strong relationship with my readers. So I have to push myself to do it still, even if it’s a little, I want to show my readers that life gets tough and life can suck at times. But you have to keep pushing and keeping going. Even if it’s half a step. Because you will make it over that hill, you will make it over that dark time. You will make it if you keep at it.

Say hi to my lunch 🥙

I can make your day better by asking you this.

Do me 3 favors. I don’t care how much stress your in. I don’t care how busy you are. I don’t care. Just do yourself this by doing these favors for me;

1. Hang in there.

2. Smile.

3. And pray.

(Beautiful photo by Diana simumpande@

It does not matter where you are, what state your in, just do me these favors.




Follow me on Instagram @ fearless.kay

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