If You Knew…

If you knew when you would draw your last breathe, would you do things differently?

Would you spend your time wisely ?

Would you stop giving time to those or things that don’t matter?

What would you do if you knew ?

The truth which we all know already, we don’t know when we will die.

I was married for 10 years and considered his family like mine. After the divorce I stayed away from his family. The time that I spent with them were unforgettable. The in laws were like brothers and sisters, close friends growing up together.

Shamefully I didn’t try hard enough to stay in their lives after I left. I couldn’t face them. I was ashamed of how I ended things. I knew they were hurt, upset, disappointed and mad at me. Or at least that’s what I imagined.

I kept in touch with a text here and there. Also 1 or 2 unsuccessful attempts to meet up. That was pathetic. I was a coward.

Two years passed since my divorce and it only took 1 tragic event for me see them again. Their mom passed away.

She loved me like a daughter. Cared for me. Fed me and clothed me. She never yelled at me nor lectured me. She didn’t even say one word to me when I left. I am now filled with regrets. I didn’t get to show her how much I appreciated her. How much I loved being her daughter. And how much I loved her.

I put aside the doubts and the what if’s. I wanted to be there for them because they were more than just my in laws. They were my friends, my brothers and sisters.

There was no hatred, no anger, no resentment and no bitterness…

All I received was warm welcomes filled with hugs.

I had always dreamt of this moment. Never did I think I would see them under such tragic circumstances.

If I could turn back time, if I had known, if only I could, I would.

I am so happy and thankful for such a blessing and so sad.

Life is definitely too short to stay mad. Time doesn’t stop for anyone so please, please if you are mad at someone you love and care about, stop. Make amends before it’s too late.

It was too late for me to show her, but it wasn’t too late to make amends with my brothers and sisters.

May her soul Rest In Peace. Tell her she is loved and will always be remembered.

How was your weekend?

My weekend was wonderful☺️ I saw my 2 beautiful kids.

I am sad to see them grow up without me there. But I am so blessed and thankful that they are growing up under loving care.

Life doesn’t go according to plan. All we see is the step in front of us. Never the whole staircase. It would be nice to see the whole picture but that’s just not how it works.

We’re scared of the unknown. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to see just the first step and to take one step at a time.

Today is Monday! The hardest day to get back into it, whatever it is. I’ve rested over the weekend but now it’s time to hit the gym again. I’m excited and at the same time dreading it. I feel as if I have come a long way with my personal journey with life and gym.

What are your goals for the week? Let’s make sure we hit those goals and keep taking one step at a time to get to the top of the staircase.

Follow me on Instagram @fearless.kay

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I’m at work. How’s everyone ? Anything to share ? ♥️

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Too many times do we keep to ourselves because we don’t want to be judged by those close to us or for whatever reason we keep it inside. I’m here, don’t hesitate to leave your mark♥️.

-Kay

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