If You Knew…

If you knew when you would draw your last breathe, would you do things differently?

Would you spend your time wisely ?

Would you stop giving time to those or things that don’t matter?

What would you do if you knew ?

The truth which we all know already, we don’t know when we will die.

I was married for 10 years and considered his family like mine. After the divorce I stayed away from his family. The time that I spent with them were unforgettable. The in laws were like brothers and sisters, close friends growing up together.

Shamefully I didn’t try hard enough to stay in their lives after I left. I couldn’t face them. I was ashamed of how I ended things. I knew they were hurt, upset, disappointed and mad at me. Or at least that’s what I imagined.

I kept in touch with a text here and there. Also 1 or 2 unsuccessful attempts to meet up. That was pathetic. I was a coward.

Two years passed since my divorce and it only took 1 tragic event for me see them again. Their mom passed away.

She loved me like a daughter. Cared for me. Fed me and clothed me. She never yelled at me nor lectured me. She didn’t even say one word to me when I left. I am now filled with regrets. I didn’t get to show her how much I appreciated her. How much I loved being her daughter. And how much I loved her.

I put aside the doubts and the what if’s. I wanted to be there for them because they were more than just my in laws. They were my friends, my brothers and sisters.

There was no hatred, no anger, no resentment and no bitterness…

All I received was warm welcomes filled with hugs.

I had always dreamt of this moment. Never did I think I would see them under such tragic circumstances.

If I could turn back time, if I had known, if only I could, I would.

I am so happy and thankful for such a blessing and so sad.

Life is definitely too short to stay mad. Time doesn’t stop for anyone so please, please if you are mad at someone you love and care about, stop. Make amends before it’s too late.

It was too late for me to show her, but it wasn’t too late to make amends with my brothers and sisters.

May her soul Rest In Peace. Tell her she is loved and will always be remembered.

I announced it, now I have to really do it…

Excuses, excuses and more excuses. They were not excuses, they were reasons. I chose not to do that because I had so much going on in my life that I could not take on another task. My emotions were like a roller coaster ride. People on the outside would look in and would not understand unless they knew what was happening behind the closed door.

But when you are in a good enough space where you can do something good for yourself, go for it. Take small steps. Little accomplishments will lead you in a new direction. If you want to go back to school, go back! If you want to live a healthier life style, start today! If you want to love again, love yourself first…

It’s never too late to do something good for yourself. For me I will be looking into going back to school. I want to further my education. I want to fill myself with more. I loved pharmacy tech but I just lost my passion for it along the way. I love the people part but the job itself is just not enough for me. Its okay to want more in life. I always tell people to never settle for less then what they think they deserve. But remember, nothing great comes to those who don’t work hard for it. I will be working hard on my relationship with myself and leaving the rest to God.

I’ve been speaking a lot about him because he was there when I was alone. He was the one that answered my prayers. He was the one that blessed me with such love and warmth. He is the reason why I have hope and faith today. Never have I in my entire life ever felt this way about him.

This is simply me, Ka.

P.S.

My shiny knight
Not only did God save me and surrounded me with support, he brought her into my life. I can’t express how thankful to have met you Ms. You are truly an angel from above. I pray that he will give you everything your heart desires because you are my savior. I will repay you one day for the kindness you have given me when I had no one. I will do it with more than just sending flowers to your office. I love you and pray that we will see each other again in the future.

 

 

How was your weekend?

My weekend was wonderful☺️ I saw my 2 beautiful kids.

I am sad to see them grow up without me there. But I am so blessed and thankful that they are growing up under loving care.

Life doesn’t go according to plan. All we see is the step in front of us. Never the whole staircase. It would be nice to see the whole picture but that’s just not how it works.

We’re scared of the unknown. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to see just the first step and to take one step at a time.

Today is Monday! The hardest day to get back into it, whatever it is. I’ve rested over the weekend but now it’s time to hit the gym again. I’m excited and at the same time dreading it. I feel as if I have come a long way with my personal journey with life and gym.

What are your goals for the week? Let’s make sure we hit those goals and keep taking one step at a time to get to the top of the staircase.

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Free space for your thoughts here

I’m at work. How’s everyone ? Anything to share ? ♥️

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Too many times do we keep to ourselves because we don’t want to be judged by those close to us or for whatever reason we keep it inside. I’m here, don’t hesitate to leave your mark♥️.

-Kay

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Challenge #2, you ready for this?

I challenge you to say hello to strangers everyday for a month. Write down your experiences. Pay attention to how you are and how they are. Why ?

When I was in school for pharmacy technician my communication teacher gave us this lesson. This was actually the year that I started to change and grow up.

I was a very shy, quiet person. I kept to myself. I was scared of engaging with people. I would avoid encounters.

This assignment really changed me. At first it was scary and hard to find the courage to say hi to strangers. It was uncomfortable at first. It felt good after the hello. Just thinking about it, anticipating it made it scary for me.

After a couple of days of doing it, it came smoothly to me. I said hi with a smile on my face and if they say hi back I smile with my teeth. Some will even ask how I am and I would of course ask back. It became easy to where it came naturally.

As I walk pass the hall I’ll say hi to the people that walks by. I may not know them but it’s nice to let people know that I know they exist.

You can say life is like this. Its like starting a new job. Because you are new, you drag your feet to work, worried about the mistakes you will make. As time goes by, you learn from your mistakes and you get better. It becomes easy and your no longer stressing having nightmares.

It’s like your first time going to the gym. You’re worried, you’re scared, you’re nervous, your intimidated. But once you go in and you start your routine it gives you the push for momentum. You go from one work out to another and then you go home. You Keep doing it and surprisingly it gets better. You get stronger, you feel better, you look healthier, you feel healthier.

That’s the thing. Things are hard at first, but once you keep going at it, it gets easier; consistency and persistency. They go hand in hand.

If you want something; a change in lifestyle, a girl or guy, a job , a career change, and whatever you want. You have to be willing to be consistent and be persistent.

If you don’t meet your goal today, try tomorrow. If you fail today, get up and try again. If they say no, work harder and try again.

Looking forward,

Kay

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.p.s. Thank you Mrs.Cooper I ♥️ you

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I Challenge You To This

One of my favorite memory growing up was volunteering in elementary school. Why would anyone volunteer during their summer vacation? Well you see, the school that I attended had their grades rotate summer vacation. I was a 4th grader that year. The reason I volunteered during my summer was because of a crush. Yes, I signed my vacation away because I wanted to see my crush and because we rotate summer vacation that made it possible for me to see him. Now that I think about it, it was so silly. What did you expect? That’s not what was memorable, no, it was what I discovered that summer.

My family and I moved to the United States when I was 6 years old. I started school in first grade. I didn’t get to experience kindergarten like every other kid. I don’t know the order of the rainbow. I still don’t do this day. I just color it the way I want it.  The first time when I was introduced to kindergarten was when I volunteered that summer. I found out that they had this thing as, ” snack time”. 

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I found it so amazing! Who came up with this idea? Forget the crush, because I only  saw a glimpse of him in the morning. I loved snack time every day. That was the best summer I had volunteering.

Thinking back that was when I was introduced to Red Vines. Red Vines is different from Liquorice. I am sorry but Red Vines is better.

It’s sad how time flies so fast. When we were younger we wanted to grow up fast. Now that were older, we wish we could slow time down and stay young. Well at least that’s what I think for myself. It’s almost the end of 2018 already and I feel as if it flew by too fast. I did not make enough memorable memories. I wish I could of done more and given more, spend more time with the ones I love and take more pictures; not selfies.

Even when we know that we take time for granted, we still do it. We get caught up in life and everything else. We forget about how precious time is until it’s too late, until the end of the year. I am guilty of that.

Definitely acknowledge that fact and better yourself from it. I will. I’ll spend more of my time adding value to my life. I will smile more. I will laugh more. I will take more pictures that are not selfie! I will blog more. It’s easy to be lazy. It’s a challenge to blog every day.

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Whats one of your favorite memory? Do you take time for granted too even when you try not to? It’s okay because we are human and we are constantly learning and making mistakes. What will you do to add more value to your life? What are you not doing enough that you will be doing more of? I challenge you to challenge yourself to end your 2018 more valuable than before. Okay?~

Looking forward,

FearlessKay 

 

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Honey I’m Back! *wink*

It’s been a while since I have posted a blog post. How has everyone been? I would tell you exactly how long but I didn’t exactly count so please forgive me? I am glad to be back in my blog.  BEWARE QUOTE BELOW

” If you want to do something then do it. NO IF’S OR BUTS.”

We only get to live once, so if you want to blog then blog, if you want to be happy then be happy, if you want to be successful then find out what your meaning of successful is and take the steps to achieve it.

I never imagined myself like this at this age. My point is it is not too late.  That’s why it is called DIY, you just have to do it yourself.

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More random post to come.. because I haven’t found my  niche yet.

(I am just warming up..to be continued…)