If You Knew…

If you knew when you would draw your last breathe, would you do things differently?

Would you spend your time wisely ?

Would you stop giving time to those or things that don’t matter?

What would you do if you knew ?

The truth which we all know already, we don’t know when we will die.

I was married for 10 years and considered his family like mine. After the divorce I stayed away from his family. The time that I spent with them were unforgettable. The in laws were like brothers and sisters, close friends growing up together.

Shamefully I didn’t try hard enough to stay in their lives after I left. I couldn’t face them. I was ashamed of how I ended things. I knew they were hurt, upset, disappointed and mad at me. Or at least that’s what I imagined.

I kept in touch with a text here and there. Also 1 or 2 unsuccessful attempts to meet up. That was pathetic. I was a coward.

Two years passed since my divorce and it only took 1 tragic event for me see them again. Their mom passed away.

She loved me like a daughter. Cared for me. Fed me and clothed me. She never yelled at me nor lectured me. She didn’t even say one word to me when I left. I am now filled with regrets. I didn’t get to show her how much I appreciated her. How much I loved being her daughter. And how much I loved her.

I put aside the doubts and the what if’s. I wanted to be there for them because they were more than just my in laws. They were my friends, my brothers and sisters.

There was no hatred, no anger, no resentment and no bitterness…

All I received was warm welcomes filled with hugs.

I had always dreamt of this moment. Never did I think I would see them under such tragic circumstances.

If I could turn back time, if I had known, if only I could, I would.

I am so happy and thankful for such a blessing and so sad.

Life is definitely too short to stay mad. Time doesn’t stop for anyone so please, please if you are mad at someone you love and care about, stop. Make amends before it’s too late.

It was too late for me to show her, but it wasn’t too late to make amends with my brothers and sisters.

May her soul Rest In Peace. Tell her she is loved and will always be remembered.

I can make your day better by asking you this.

Do me 3 favors. I don’t care how much stress your in. I don’t care how busy you are. I don’t care. Just do yourself this by doing these favors for me;

1. Hang in there.

2. Smile.

3. And pray.

(Beautiful photo by Diana simumpande@ unsplash.com)

It does not matter where you are, what state your in, just do me these favors.

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Humpty Dumpty, was never the same again.

I know that my post are all bright and positive. That’s how I want my readers to see me and be able to relate to me. Yes, I want my life to be happy and full of glitter. The truth is it’s not. I am 100% sure that it is not. I seriously don’t know where I am going with this Let’s talk about trust.

Trust: Strong and delicate; treat it with care. It is true, once its broken, all the glue and tape in the world can’t put it back together no matter how hard you try. Humpty Dumpty, was never the same again. So what do we do about that fact? For those who are working their booty off to gain that trust and for those who is holding them by a thread.

1.    You have to be open to trusting again. You have to want it too. If you are not open to the possibility of being hurt again then you will never be able to trust him/her again.

2.    I understand that whatever the past was, it was painful and probably still hurts. What’s the point of bringing it to the present and being hurt again. It does not do you or your partner any good!

3.    Instead of using the past against the other person, both party learn from it and use it to empower the relationship.

I believe that a strong, good, long lasting relationship is based on lots of things including mistakes. The beginning is the lovey dovey part, the puppy love. Then when you start to really get to know someone you find the flaws, mistakes are made and lessons are learned. We are supposed to grow and learn with our partner. Learn together and grow together in the same directions.

This is the point where the relationship continues to either grow or they terminate and restart the process again with someone new. The meaning, “meant to be,” is artificial to me now. If you truly want to be with someone genuinely then you and the party will work together and grow together even when it’s easier to let go. Use your good judgment.

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Universe, I accept everything that you give me and I accept everything that I have done.

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Total strangers have this affect on you.

I had the warmest conversation with a client today. This shows that a total stranger can be as close to you as your significant other.

I had called the client to schedule out her order. She informed me that she has to get her service from another company. I kinda knew but wanted confirmation.

“Let me check my supply. Give this old lady some time to get up. It’s okay you can call me old.” And she laughed. I giggled and told her she was silly. She then said,” it’s good that your laughing at work.” That touched my heart. Total strangers and yet she wanted me to be laughing.

Through out the call we laughed and giggled as if we were friends from childhood. At the end of the call told me this, ” if you ever find yourself sad just give me a holler. I’ll be here. I’ll tell you stories of the stupid stuff I did when I was in the military.” I told her that if I find myself sad I will call her.

Sadly I probably won’t ever call her or run into her. Even if somehow I run into her, we would never know.

I am human like you and like her. Let’s empower each other to do good and feel good. Let’s celebrate other people’s success. Let’s be there for each other.

Kind of like when you pay the tab for the car behind you in Starbucks. Let everyday and everything you do be in that same faith.

Today I am truly blessed for being able to talk to that lady. Thank you universe.

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This helps me stay grounded

In times of stress what do you do?

I find myself counting in my head. I take deep breaths and count in my head either to 10 or backwards.

This helps calm my nervous system so I can think clearly.

When I’m upset, this allows me to rationalize with myself. When I’m sad, this allows me to find the positive side. When I’m scared, it calms me down. When I’m over thinking and overwhelmed it grounds me.

What are some ways that help you stay grounded and center?

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(Listening to the water when I’m on the beach 😌)

Our minds and heart are so strong and yet so vulnerable at the same time. Please share how you overcome these challenges. Your method may just help someone.

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How was your weekend?

My weekend was wonderful☺️ I saw my 2 beautiful kids.

I am sad to see them grow up without me there. But I am so blessed and thankful that they are growing up under loving care.

Life doesn’t go according to plan. All we see is the step in front of us. Never the whole staircase. It would be nice to see the whole picture but that’s just not how it works.

We’re scared of the unknown. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to see just the first step and to take one step at a time.

Today is Monday! The hardest day to get back into it, whatever it is. I’ve rested over the weekend but now it’s time to hit the gym again. I’m excited and at the same time dreading it. I feel as if I have come a long way with my personal journey with life and gym.

What are your goals for the week? Let’s make sure we hit those goals and keep taking one step at a time to get to the top of the staircase.

Follow me on Instagram @fearless.kay

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Free space for your thoughts here

I’m at work. How’s everyone ? Anything to share ? ♥️

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Too many times do we keep to ourselves because we don’t want to be judged by those close to us or for whatever reason we keep it inside. I’m here, don’t hesitate to leave your mark♥️.

-Kay

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